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24 July 2006 @ 08:20 pm
[closed log] Sasori, Deidara. Their dorm.  
Who: Sasori and Deidara
When: Sunday afternoon
Where: Their dorm
Summary: Deidara forgets his keys and it opens up a door of opportunities. ...Sasori frantically searches for meds.
Warnings: Language, Sasori's...attitude, bastardizing Itachi...and some slight fluff at the end.

Deidara threw his messenger bag over one shoulder, adjusting it so the weight of the many books he was carrying didn't topple him over. He was in the dingy, awkwardly lit hallway of the dorm building, an open soda in one hand and a Snickers in the other. He bit into it, walking down the stretch and reaching his room, finding, to his dismay, the door was locked. "Oi, danna, open the door, yeah!" he called, knocking lightly and re-adjusting his bad.

Deidara forgot his key. How annoying. He rolled his eyes, the green orbs narrowed in a glare that was prepared to just remain intent on Deidara as he opened the door. He was not in the mood for this. "...Forgot your key?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Sasori was working on plans for a new project, and he had been rudely interruptied. Not only that, he had forgotten about taking his medication admist the planning.

"Yeah," he replied, his lips curving into an apologetic grin, bowing his head a little, "My bad, danna, I got you a soda..." he shifted his bag and pulled out an unopened Mello Yellow, extending it to his friend. Deidara really didn't like when Sasori was mad, mad at him or anyone in particular, he became scary and he hated having to deal with it. He didn't try to make amends quickly out of fear, he did it because he easily became sick of dealing with other people's problems, as selfish and conceited as it sounded.

Sasori's eyes widened and he just took the soda from Deidara, slamming it on his desk before returning to the blonde. "Annoyance," he said with a frown. His fingers moved and gripped at Deidara's neck, just enough to get the point across that he was annoyed, highly annoyed. "How the hell did you forget something as basic as keys?!"

"Danna!" Deidara stuttered as the fingers gripped around his neck and his eyes widened in surprise, "S-sorry, I just..." He didn't have a good reason. He could see his keys, sitting where they always were on his bedside table, and his one eyed gaze flicked to them for a second. It had been a long time since Sasori had touched him, even longer since he'd touched him threateningly, and it surprised him more than frightened him. "Just forgot, yeah..."

Sasori stared at Deidara, his eyes were flickering dangerously. "The hell is with you?! Absent minded today or something?" he growled a bit, fingers not releasing, although not tightening, just remaining there. Even in his flicker of anger, he couldn't actually hurt Deidara. "...Just forgot? How? I mean, are you stupid enough to just forget?"

"I'm sorry, yeah..." Deidara mumbled, raising a hand and holding Sasori's wrist, attempting, though rather half-heartedly, to get him to let go. "Yeah, I forgot, people do that, please let go..." Stupid...the word cut him like a knife, but he didn't really attempt to fight back. He knew when Sasori was mad, it was best to just submit, rather than get your neck broken trying to defend your honor. He did this because, to an extent, when he was angry, he was almost exactly the same.

Sasori's fingers released Deidara and he dropped his hand as he watched him. "Tsh, what are you blind? To miss something so obvious as a key." The shine from the blonde's nightstand. He wanted to get under Deidara's skin, he wanted to hurt him. He would go lower if he had to.

Deidara rubbed his neck, his right eye hardening angrily as the subject of his left was mentioned. He didn't reply, but crossed the room, slipping out of his shoes and climbing onto his bed, letting his bag fall to the floor. He was tired. It had been a long, long day, and the massive amounts of sugar and caffeine he was injesting weren't really perking him up. "Sorry."

"...Sorry?! You interrupted me in the middle of work because you did something so stupid as to forget your key and you're sorry?! Where the hell have you been the past couple days anyway?!" Sasori's voice rose, but not enough to be counted as shouting or a scream. But it became more clear that he was upset. He needed his meds, where were they? He moved over to his own desk and started to tear it apart as he talked.

Deidara cringed, the sounds of Sasori's voice making his head ache painfully, and he was near the point of covering his ears with his hands. His body literally shrank into the corner of his bed into the wall, as though trying to run away. "Danna..." he mumbled, sounding frustrated and almost in pain, "...I wasn't anywhere, please..."

Sasori seemed to ignore Deidara for a few moments, and he raided his desk, attempting to find his medication, as if his searching was frantic and he realized what his problem was. "Uh-huh," he growled. "You heard about that fucking field trip?" He frowned, searching still, his voice was still high.

Deidara blinked, confused, but nodded to himself, only a few seconds later realizing Sasori hadn't seen him, and speaking up. "Yeah..." He was confused. He didn't know what Sasori was looking for, but his anger scared the shit out of him. Under his long sleeves he was digging his nails into his palms, dots of blood rising, in an effort to calm himself down. It wouldn't take long, Sasori was pressing him, and his white sheets were beginning to dot with blood. He was about to snap. "...w-what about it, yeah?"

"If either of us are stuck with that dirty fucker, Itachi, I'm going to demand a reassignment," he growled lowly, as he dug through his stuff. And then he turned to look at Deidara. "Have you seen my fucking medication?" it was almost a frantic tone.

Deidara blinked, almost forcing himself to ignore the first statement. Itachi. Oh god, he thought, sickened, literally shivering for a moment and a wave of nausea hitting him from his own memories. "You lost your medications?" he asked quickly, biting down on his bottom lip and looking around, "B-but, you can't lose...shit, yeah..."

"Fucking hell," Sasori stared, looking around for his medications. He was losing it because he hadn't taken them for two days and being manic depressive without his medication made him a lot more dangerous. "...I can't fucking find them. Shit, if I ran out and forgot to refill them."

Deidara jumped up, forgetting his awkward feelings of moments prior and his meal to help his friend look. In truth - Deidara was terrible at finding things once they were lost, he lived in a state of orderly chaos, but once something became lost in his aspect, they never really turned up. It was usually Sasori who turned up with him once he worked up the nerve to ask. The situation bothered him. "Fuck, yeah..." he replied, concern toning it as he ducked to the floor to look under Sasori's bed, "Fuck."

"I've become too fucking distracted." Sasori twitched at that. He didn't think he even had his medication anymore. He definitely forgot to refill it. He should probably talk to Tsunade or something about taking him out to get a refill. This was what happened when he paid too much attention to his extra things and not his health. "...No, definitely forgot to refill them. Fuck, and I called you stupid."

Deidara ignored him, squeezing his skinny frame under the bed and reaching his arm out for a plastic zipped bag. He could feel something inside of it, a bottle, a bottle of what, he didn't know. He managed to trap the bag under one of his nails and claw it into his grasp. After a few seconds, he had inched his way out, leveling the bottle to his gaze. It was a perscription bottle. And it was completely empty. He turned his head from where he was laying on the floor and an emotion that could only be described of despiration danced over it. Fuck.

"I'll talk to Tsunade. She used to be a nurse. She'll get me some quick." Sasori's own tone was frantic. "I'll be fine until then." He shook his head, bringing a hand to his head and laughing almost hysterically. "I will be fine," his tone was quiet. Yeah, he could last a day without his meds. Well..two...three. He couldn't remember. He thought Wednesday was the last day. "How the hell could I forget to take them since Wednesday?!"

Deidara nodded, almost fearfully, unsure of what to do or say. Sasori could, at any moment, have a change of heart and hit him. Hit him or worse...Deidara shook his head. He had faith that his friend wouldn't do that. He needed to help him. He just didn't know what to do or how to be seriously calm. "Danna, er, I'm sure it'll be okay...yeah."

"I'll be fucking fine Deidara!" Sasori's voice got unnaturally loud for him. Sasori may get upset, but he rarely let his anger touch his voice, but it did that time. And he became frantic. "Maybe I should take a fucking nap or something. I don't know. Bullshit. Fucking hell...and don't tell me you've been nowhere, liar."

Deidara's eyes widened and he shrank back, fear truely touching him at the string of curses and the sudden change of topic. "I'm not a liar! I haven't been anywhere!" he replied desperately, his bleeding hand curling into a fist as his nails began to dig into his skin once more, "I wouldn't lie, I haven't gone anywhere, yeah!"

"...Then what's been going on?" he asked with widened eyes. Given, he was wondering where his friend had been since he had only seen him around the dorm room. But it wasn't his business. "Did you drink like you said you were going to earlier this week?!"

"No, I never went drinking," he replied, edging himself away from Sasori and loostening his fist, blood dabbing on his nails and wounds on the insides of this palms that got a rush of cool air, making Deidara wince, "Nothing's happened lately. I just went to the library, hanging out there, yeah." He was beginning to feel nervous...did Sasori know? That idea frightened him to an extent that his friend's madness could not.

"Ah..." Sasori seemed to buy it, if only a little bit. "...Sure." He shrugged a little. "Not my fucking business anyway. You do whatever the hell you want." He thought maybe he should care what had been going on in his friend's life, but there was something mentally blocking his ability to care.

Deidara watched his friend, concern in his one-eyed gaze, and almost tempted to pat his back. "Do you want the rest of my soda?" he asked, indicating the half-drunk Dr. Pepper he had got for himself, which he suddenly didn't want, "I mean, I got you one, but I really don't want mine anymore, yeah." He was choosy about his words, carefully changing the subject but not making it obvious. He wanted-needed-to have Sasori calm. He didn't want anything to go wrong. Everything. Was. Perfect.

"No," Sasori answered, turning to watch Deidara for a moment through both of his green eyes. His body relaxed for a moment. He was counting to ten mentally, getting himself to relax and calm down and not think about these things anymore. Relax. he had to relax and feel better about it all. Yes. He was st ill a little frantic.

Blood dripped from his fist onto the floor, but Deidara didn't really notice, all of his concentration was to not looking at Sasori. He was being scrutinized, and it made him shiver and feel uncomfortable. His body had placed itself awkwardly, as though burying itself away without physically trying. It was the utter pose of rejection. "Okay, yeah."

"...The hell are you doing? You're bleeding on the fucking floor, Deidara!" Sasori growled and pointed to the floor. He frantically searched around for something to clean it up. He couldn't let the room become an organized mess in his case, and blood was bad to clean up.

"What?" he said suddenly, his gaze directing to the floor where two or three drops of bright red blood glimmered before him. His eyes widened and he loostened the grrip, shoving his bleeding fist in his pocket and quickly scrambling to his bedside table, where bleach cleaners and rags sat in the bottom cubbord. Her pulled out a rag and a bottle of cleaner, awkwardly manuvering them with his right hand. He didn't say anything more but sprayed the chemical on the rag, blotting up the blood and then cleaning it further. "Sorry!"

"What the hell is going on? What's wrong with you?!" Sasori yelled. Deidara wasn't the type to not notice when he was hurting himself or when he damaging his own skin. Deidara was like Sasori in that he considered himself an art project in a way.

Deidara flinched a the outright yell and he looked away, finishing his quick job and glancing around for some sort of an escape. 'Not now...' he thought, 'I can't stand it.' His head hurt and he couldn't look at his friend, only feeling the sting of the wound on the inside of his palm. "Nothing's wrong!" he replied, gripping the inside of his pocket and pressing his hand against the fabric.

"You're lying, Deidara!" Sasori yelled at him again. He had to yell. Yelling made him feel a lot better, just when he thought he was going to calm down, he didn't. He was paying for not taking his medication.

"Shut up!" Deidara yelled back, ripping his hand from his pocket and using it and the other to cover his ears, the noise and anger of the room making him feel like it were his ears that were bleeding and not his palm, "I'm not lying! There's nothing wrong with me, Sasori!"

"I've been lied to enough in my life to know when someone is lying Deidara," Sasori yelled back. He moved to his desk, of course he could find his bandages. That was...something he rarely even needed. He moved over to Deidara, moving the hands away from his ears. "Give me your hand."

Deidara extended his hand, watching the blood seep from the four nearly identical cuts, one after the other, saying nothing in reply. His head pounded. His eyes felt heavy and sore. And he flinched when Sasori touched him, a flinch that was like a complete recoil and rejection that didn't suit him at all.

Sasori took Deidara's hand. "Do you not fucking trust me? Of all people not to trust me?!" Sasori asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Deidara. "What the hell happened?! I used to be the only person you would claim you trusted."

Deidara blinked. And for a solid moment, his dimeanor was emotionless. Then. Rather suddenly. He broke. "Danna!" he cried, his heavy eyes suddenly producing tears that spilled down his face and his arms throwing themselves around Sasori's neck. Deidara never cried. It was just something he refused to let himself do, he saw it was inarticulate to let something bother you so much to cry over it. He saw himself as pathetic. And the last time he had cried, it had been in the boy's bathroom in seventh grade. A long time ago under completely different circumstances. "...I'm sorry, h-he, I couldn't do anything, I'm sorry!"

...Deidara was crying. Why was Deidara..."He?" he asked admist his own thoughts. What did 'he' do? Who was 'he'? Someone hurt Deidara? Deidara was part of the reason that Sasori even cared to take his meds because it made him tolerable to be around. And he really didn't want to scare away his only friend. "...What did he do?!"

"...h-he, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I couldn't do anything!" Deidara cried, humiliated, feeling sick as he sobbed and remembered the feeling, and how he had practically...enjoyed it at the time, "I'm sorry danna, he touched me, I couldn't..." He held Sasori around the neck, crying in such a way it would be painful for him to remember it, but he sobbed anyways.

Sasori was hesitant and just let his arms move to somewhat..hug Deidara, although he was weird about touching most people. "...Who?!" he asked. He needed names. He needed to know who had to get each of his limbs torn off.

Deidara choked, hesitating to say who. That was what Itachi wanted, he wanted Deidara to tell, and there had to be a reason. If he wanted him to tell that means he expected Sasori, and if he expected him than he obviously had a way to fight back. Deidara shook his head, mumbling "...no" in Sasori's ear and letting himself cry more. He wouldn't let his friend get hurt. Not Sasori.

"Deidara if you trust me you will tell me who did this!" Sasori said, his voice was quiet but it was clearly upset and angry. He frowned a bit and held onto Deidara. "Tell me." He shoook his head. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.

Deidara was quiet for several moments, his tears falling from his eyes while his body stopped shaking and he stopped making noise. He trusted Sasori. Deidara trusted Sasori more than anyone. Deidara, however, did not trust Itachi, and in his mind a war between what was right and what was easy was raging violently. "He..." Deidara wimpered, biting into his lip and making a silent prayer to some god he didn't believe in that he wouldn't regret this, "...it was...I-itachi..."

He was dead, then. Itachi wouldn't be able to blink as fast as he'd be dead. Or seriously hurt so badly that he'd never even think of doing it again. No. Stay calm Sasori, the other part of his mind told him. The part that was somewhat sane right now. Think about this after he took his medications. "Oh," was all he said. And somehow, almost possessively, his arms tightened.

Deidara didn't feel the need to elaborate, he knew what was going on in Sasori's mind. He knew his friend was just realizing that all the rumors he had heard were true. He knew he was contemplating in which ways to kill Itachi, and in what fashion. He knew a part of himself was saying 'wait, not until you're sane.' Because Deidara knew Sasori from the inside. And so, the 'Oh' was almost comforting, but not so much as when he felt the embrace tighten around him. "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Sasori asked, his eyes closed. Thoughts running through his mind. He needed to talk to Tsunade soon. He felt the wave of depression hit him. He whould have been able to help Deidara. He should have kept Itachi away when he heard the rumors start. He should have done so much sto stop it. He could have done so much to stop it. And he didn't.

"Because," he replied steadily, keeping his hold and both of his eyes closed, "All my life I've been able to prove that even though I was small and I wore skirts that I could still pack a punch and fight off perverts, yeah. But...I didn't. I couldn't. I'm sorry." The tone was of utter genuine, because, it was true. If he hadn't been stupid. If he hadn't just stayed away from Itachi and hated him like everyone else did. Why hadn't he done that?

Sasori sighed. Wait till I'm sane, he kept telling himself. He had to wait. If he didn't...there could be some bad things going on. He wanted to kill Itachi. "...Tsh, you know him, he takes whatever he wants even if what he wants doesn't want him."

Deidara nodded, and found he had stopped crying, his arms still wrapped securely around Sasori's neck and the waves of killer intent wofting from the other. "I know." Something about Sasori's calm relaxed him, made him feel like he didn't regret telling him, and it was refreshing. "Thank you, danna."

Sasori shrugged. "Don't thank me." He sounded stern in his words. Deidara owed him nothing, he had calmed Sasori down. He had forced his mind to at least think a little logically, to cool down the battle in his mind of wanting to kill Itachi right that moment and waiting tot hink something out.

Deidara pulled back, his face flushed from the teachers which he wiped away with the back of his hands. A small smile formed on his lips, directed at Sasori with a sickening optimism. "Lets go get you some meds, yeah."

Sasori quirked an eyebrow. He didn't smile, but Deidara did quite a lot. It was kind of creepy. "Right." That would be a good idea. The sooner he could think logically the better.